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Buffed up from the gym like the athletes we wanted to be in high school, we're finally able to enjoy the prime years of ultimate fitness and boysie banter we were once denied. It's obvious that gaydolescence extends to some gay mens' physical appearance, too. We date around and finally get the sexual education we missed out on (and then some). We join a party culture that doesn't stop for anything. For those that aren't so lucky, the years 13 through to 18, and often beyond, are riddled with confusion and isolation (past the appreciation of most heterosexual coming-of-age experiences).
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Even gay teens who grow up in the most liberal of environments have a good few years of finding out who they are. Until marriage equality came around, gay men were relieved of the pressures of having to couple up, move to a nice suburban neighbourhood, and spawn children to carry on the cycle.įor the most part, the gaydolescence comes from being denied a legitimate adolescence in our teenage years. I can't speak for the rest of the LGBT spectrum, but for gay men, we're allowed a much longer lease on youth than our straight counterparts. I'm not the first to call this the "gaydolescence", but this isn't a common term. And we do the best we can to keep our physicality in such a state too.
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Our culture permits - even encourages - an eternal Peter Pan syndrome whereby we can choose to remain young and free at heart. What I didn't quite comprehended, until I thought that older gentleman's comment through, was that such an adolescence isn't something a lot of gay men want to let of go of. In the lead up to my wedding, I'd started to realise there was a certain adolescence I was letting go of. "Growing up" and getting married didn't fit into that very well. This was a culture of freedom, of youth, and of possibilities. When Gay Liberation was kicking off in the late 1960s, non-conformity to heteronormative traits - marriage and monogamy being two of them - was part of the culture.